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What you Don’t Expect, You Appreciate!

Unmet expectations are one of the main reasons for a failing relationship. Expectations come in many forms to include romantic gestures, oil changes, sexual reciprocity, household responsibilities, etc. Expectations often develop even before we meet our partner and are based on what we’ve witnessed via other couples as well as what we wish for ourselves. A woman may fantasize that her partner will open the door before her, take out the garbage without having to be reminded, jump at the chance to visit her family, and certainly never look at the swimsuit edition of Sports Illustrated. A man may fantasize that every night when he returns from work there would be a home-cooked meal waiting for him, that sex would be as regular as the sunrise, and that his partner would glow with the idea of making munchies for him while he watches sports. The reality of life is that your partner may meet some of your expectations some of the time. What you can expect is to sometimes be disappointed for no one can meet your needs and expectations all of the time. Perhaps take a close look at what you’re looking for in a partner. Take the time to make a list of the things that you find important. Write the qualities down and order them in terms of significance. Ask yourself if your partner meets your primary needs. If so, stop complaining and start appreciating. Be determined to be content. Stop looking for what you don’t have and recognize what you do have. Come from a place of gratitude. On a final note, remember to ask for what you want. Your partner is not a mind reader and may not understand which gestures you most value. YOU are responsible for communicating your own wants and needs.

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